back again...

I have been sorely remiss in blogging. It has been not for opportunity, or occasion, or theme…I have had all of those. But mainly one of procrastination. I would like to leave this blog as memoir to my children, the most valuable possession I have ever had, and the greatest responsibility given to me to upkeep. Looking back, I find the greatest joy in them, and their accomplishments. Having seen them grow up to be responsible young man and women, and watching them grow. Their childhood seems so long ago, and yet, at times it feels like it was just yesterday. Memories can leave an indelible print in your soul. My son is now with us, and cooking for him once again has been a true joy in my life. His girlfriend's dog gives an added dimension to the pack; his boyish impatience and exuberance is both refreshing and uplifting. If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as him. He has so much energy! They say the eyes are the window to the soul, and his soul is so profound. Dogs, I've read, are the only animals that pick up on a human's nonverbal communication and language. They know when you are mad, sad, happy, or reflecting. Although my daily routine is a whirlwind, I still find the time to play with him and enjoy his company.
School has been another joy in life. A person must find things to be grateful for, and they do not necessarily have to be money or power, or recognition. Feeling productive, having the blessing of another day of life, or just being in the moment should suffice. Life is what you make of it, your destiny is not fully written; there are blank spaces that you control and you must fill in.
Whenever you have a chance, check out the Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin. It is a worthwhile effort by a real human being with love of life. Remember what John Lennon said, "life is what happens when you are making other plans". So start enjoying the precious moments before you, cast away the negatives and set sail for the horizon. Live!

2009 has come to an end. Frankly, it was a very good year overall for me and my family. I was able to accomplish my Bachelor's degree, my son graduated from college and moved on to graduate school, and my daughter finished her first year of pre-medical school. In baseball, 3 out of 10 is considered one hell of an average, but 3 out of 3..!?!?!?! I'd say that is pretty good. People often commend me on my kids, and sure, it seems easy now….but it was not. Consider that in order to ensure a healthy family environment, I gave up what seemed pretty good job positions to be able to spend as much time on my family as possible. I had to adjust my work life often, and thank God for being a nurse that I was able to do so. I was lucky - in a lot of ways. I pushed them hard early on, avoiding the pitfalls that come to a typical working class family. The girls were easier because of their very nature. They are easier to handle, especially when their mother helps out - a lot. The boy was a different story. Keeping him out of trouble meant daily baseball practices and games, even during summer. There was not a day without some form of activity. They say an idle mind is the devil's playground, and I tend to agree. It meant working night shift, so that I could take them back and forth to school. And life is about giving up something for something else. The trick is to know which thing to give up for what else. Everybody has different values and priorities, and as life has moved on, so have my priorities. During my early marriage years, it was make money and be successful financially, for my family. As I grew older, the growing family became my priority. Family was first, followed by everything else.
It didn't hurt to have a great wife. Here is where I feel I got really lucky. They don't come any better than her, and I am truly blessed by this. I always felt I'd land a great sidekick, and patience paid off. But destiny was probably already written. My future wife lived nearly 4 blocks from my high school era home, her oldest brother was friends with my brother, and her entire siblings, including her, attended the same high school I did. Her family is the greatest family I have ever met, and she was brought up the way I had imagined her to be. If that's not destiny, then call it karma. It's the same thing, different phrase. I was born at the right time, came to this country at the right age, attended the right high school, and met the people I was supposed to meet. There is greater argument for destiny than my life, looking back. Now I'm reaping the fruits of the hard work. Life is meaningful and very few regrets remain. Had I changed the course of my timeline, I would not be here telling this story the way I am telling it now.

I recently celebrated my 54th birthday, and frankly, it weighed upon me the enormousness of the age “thing”. I remember when I was much younger, I dreaded becoming 25 years old. To me, when you are 18, 25 seems such an old age. Being 25 meant at the time that I could not continue to live like a little kid, and I really dreaded getting there. On my 25th birthday, I was very depressed. Then my mother called me up to tell me she had spoken with another family member, and during the conversation I realized that I was not 25 but 26! The depression became a heavy mantle that weighed so much on me and lasted several weeks. Even now, I clearly remember those feelings. Now that I’m 54 (or 55, depending on how you look at it), I have a renewed sense of those feelings. The exception is that I feel REALLY old – but much wiser. I have been able to accomplish most of the things I set out to do – and also completed some that I did not intend to do, but did along the way. For example, I got to jump out of perfectly good airplanes, thanks to the U.S. army. I got to travel most of the U.S. I’ve seen many good things – and many bad things. I finished college – that was pretty neat. And along my life’s journey, I picked up a lot of wisdom, that I have tried to pass along to my children. It is they who are my inspiration and the reason why I and every single old geezer like me, lives for. Nothing like children to make you old pretty quick. I met Roberto Clemente, my hero. At the time I did not know he was going to be so famous, and I didn’t even get his autograph. Some things are not revealed to you until much later in life. For example, had I stayed in the military as I had so much wanted when I was there, I would not had met my wife, who lived all of her young life nearby and never met her until we worked together. Her brother and my brother were friends, and my best friend was best friends with her. I even went to my best friend’s sister’s quince and she was there! How much neater can that be? Life is a chain of events, and I’ve come to learn that every decision has a consequence, whether you choose the right decision, the wrong decision, or no decision at all. God has a plan, and whether you like it or not, He will make sure you follow that plan.



So for those who read this, I have an advise: like the movie quote says, “get busy livin’ or get busy dyin”, because life still goes on, whether you are in it or not.

random thoughts for the holidays

Well, much has happened since I last blogged in. Seeking a higher education has kept me pretty much busy with the qualifying and I am ready to go, thank God. Personally, I've had much happen around me to keep me on my toes. Like my father falling and breaking two ribs. It's not much of ac deal, except when you are 80 years old, it is. My little one attended a conference for minority future scientists and received recognition for her presentation; not a small feat considering she is one of three that Miami Dade College sent that got a certificate. Just out of the North campus there were twelve and she was the only one among the group. And believe me, these kids are pretty smart…so I am as flabbergasted as she was when she called me.

The economy continues to tank and reach bottom. We are talking layoffs at my place of employment, but you can't worry about what you can't control. When push comes to shove, good employees will prevail….I Hope….

The events at Ft. Hood have made me realize how fragile our lives are, and having been in those shoes a long time ago, realize the brotherhood that exists among military men. To have a traitor among us ranks up there as one of the vilest things a human being can inflict upon another, all for the sake of my religion being better than your religion. When Jesus was among us, he didn't say Catholics, or Jews, or Protestants or Muslims are better than anyone. I bet there is an African native right now that lives in the middle of the Jungle, and he will make it to the Kingdom of God before me…why? Because it does not matter where you came from or who you are, or how much you have, but what is in your heart, and whether you practice compassion, understanding, and lots of common sense. Thinking about the loved ones, the friends and the brothers in arms fighting for us makes me reflect how precious liberty is, and how much prepared you must be to defend it. They did not ask to be there, but they are there. Whether they believe in the war or not, they are being responsible and accountable, which is much more than I can say for the rest of us. My prayer is that ALL of them return safely….

On the lighter note, it is getting cold - finally. I welcome the climate change because there is no better feeling than waking up to chilly air. My wife hates it, but it makes me feel good about myself that I don't have to worry about sweating….like Forrest Gump said, "good, one less thing to worry about". I spoke with my oldest daughter, and she is such a welcomed blessing. She is the ultimate optimist, she is going to be blessed in many ways, as she has chosen her path in life, and it is a good one. My son is always in my mind…I worry about him, but that is what parents do. He is also on a sure path, and I am so proud of all of them.

As for my professional journey, I am so excited to seek further education. Nothing gives power like knowledge. An educated man is the most dangerous person in the world (see Obama). This holiday season will be a reflecting one. People will be placing more emphasis on thoughtful gifts as opposed to lavish ones. I am happy about this. I feel we have lost our conciousness as a nation and as humankind. It's time to get back to basics and care about the important things...till next blog, I promise not to saty away so long....

If the sunshine is free...it must be Florida (not!)

I was driving eastbound, several blocks from my home, when a man in a van ran the red light and literally forced me off the road into oncoming traffic. I was trying to avoid him, maybe I should had hit him (I could use the money), but my better judgment made me avoid him ( I don't need the aggravation of a traffic accident). I immediately reacted as any reasonable person would...I was angry at the guy, and my initial response was to cut him off as well. Except that my educated mind told me I would descend into the same hellhole the guy lived in and I would be no better than he was. As I have thought about the incident several times since, I now need to put the incident in perspective.

You see, I live in Miami, where the mayor just gave his best close and personal friends a substantial raise, even though he knew fully well there is no money or funds to pay for the other county services. Not only did he give them a raise, he made the raises retroactive, so that when he was investigated, it would look as if they were given the previous year. He still had the audacity to defend the raises, even though he was supposed to merge his office with the county manager's to eliminate duplication - something he conveniently has not done, and now states he forgot - or better yet, he did not address when confronted with his misdeeds.

On the other side of the salad bar its the only utility company for the state claiming it needs to raise their fees by 30%. Never mind that they are in the midst of buying a new jet for their well-paid executives (which by the way, they fought ardently and lost to hide their salaries) aroud the state. One of their executives, who flies from Miami to Juno Beach on a regular basis for "business", has the audacity to defend his regular trips. I wonder how many of us have a helicopter ready at a moment's notice to fly in and out of our homes to go to work. I say, let's buy him a home in Juno Beach and skip the corporate jet. We could save so much gasoline spent stuck on I-95, and we would have a daily bird's eye view of those poor suckers not rich enough or connected enough stuck in traffic. How easy life would be!

Now back to my incident: put into this perspective, it is only a microcosm of the lawlessness that has pervaded Florida, and South Florida in particular. No longer is living an hoest life worthwhile, in fact, is merely dangerous to do so. Florida has become a haven for not only retirees, illegal aliens, but also crooks and corrupted officials. So living a virtuous life is like finding a virgin woman- good luck with that (no pun intended).

I was perusing old photographs tonight.... I was amazed at how much memory can be evoked from a picture. Your mind gets flooded with feelings, and sounds, and smells - just from looking at picture. For example, looking at one picture of my daughter I can distinctly remmeber a dozen occasions where I thought to myself: " I am such a lucky guy!" It's amazing how the brain can remember - and recall - everything about that one point in your life. Now that my children are adults, and only one remains, I get feelings of bittersweet memory whenever I look at their baby pics. It's the one connection with the past that is instant. Herein is what I am trying to say: it is so important to know as much as you can about your past, because it drives the future. The more you know about yourself, the more confident you feel about who you are and the possibilities of becoming a great person are easier. Life does not forget to teach - so I advise you to pay attention. Even in loss, there is a lesson to be learned.

Having had a great childhood despite much suffering, I came to appreciate the good life has to offer. As I look at the picture of my hometown, happy (and bad) memories come afloat, as if they had happened yesterday. Reminiscing about the past has kept my journey in a straight path. I have learned to respect the power of wisdom, and to use it wisely. I have learned to instill good values and morals to build character in my family. I have never forgotten where I came from, and however humble, it gives praise to my accomplishments. And that is what life is about: to love your fellow man, to do no harm, and to continue my journey , to trust the wind in my sails, wherever it might lead me.